Monday, October 22, 2012

Something New (And Failed Because of Me)

I'm into something new these days... A lot of firsts for me. A lot of firsts that I vowed not to take. He is older, which isn't a first but certainly wasn't on the list of intentions. He's part Filipino, and I've only ever been with Western mutts. He's been married... And divorced... Happily so, it seems, and gets along quite well with the ex. He's got a kid, and that is something I desperately wanted to stay away from. I'm not particularly fond of kids other than my own and sometimes, let's be honest, not even them. Don't get me wrong. I love them and feel like I've lost a limb or two when they're not under my care, but they are anchors, and while I don't want to stray away from where I stay today, I want to be able to float if I want. He isn't a musician. That may not seem like a big deal, but I've never, ever, ever, ever, ever dated someone who wasn't a musician.

I guess it's time for change. Time for me to realize that not every man only thinks about sex, not every man will try to get into my pants on the very first date... Or second, or third, or fourth (sigh)... That it is amazing that a little girl would CHOOSE to live with her father... And that her mother would be OK with that...


I wrote this exactly a month ago. This is what I lost. This is who I pushed away.

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