Saturday, November 23, 2013

Life is... Good?

I don't even know why I'm writing except I've been trying to keep in touch with friends who help me in dark times and write even though I'm not in a dark time.

So, life is good. I have a lot of ways that life might be considered not so good - like that I'll be filing bankruptcy whenever I finally get sued or that my ex boyfriend is still hung up on me and I can't share Thanksgiving with my current boyfriend because of it (and the fact that they're brothers - oops).

Even not paying my credit card bills, I still live paycheck to paycheck and really need to learn how to budget.

I would like to lose 12.2 lbs - not for aesthetic reasons because if I could look how I look and just weigh 12.2 lbs less AND fit into my wardrobe, I'd be super stoked. I'm happy with my body and how I look (as much as any woman who has had 2 kids can!) but not so much with how I feel. I get overly frustrated with my kids for little things and wish I was a Pinterest mom (but those Pinterest moms are probably bitchy moms behind closed doors too).

The kids' principal drives me insane. I despise nearly everything about her, but she provides amazing experiential learning opportunities for my children that they'd never get anywhere else around here. But she is an extremist, a conformist, and a dictator. And I have lost all respect for her as a person but am grateful for her vision for the school. Maybe one day she'll realize that all children are not created equal. Mine are unusually unique. When they are both in the same classroom next year, God help the teachers.

I have two, possibly three, broken metatarsals. A sprained ankle, high and low. And my car was robbed of a baritone horn that was not mine. As well as a number of other things. It sucked. I'm still figuring out things that were stolen.

My Ehlers-Danlos symptoms are becoming more prevalent. See the losing 12.2 lbs above. I hurt. Every. Single. Day. And sometimes, my joints don't stay where they're supposed to. My knees and hips and ribs seem to be getting it worse than other parts... Except my ankle/foot now. Oh, and my wrist. And my arthritic hands. Geez. I should be bedridden!

I don't really know how to get rid of my continued suitors (I know this shouldn't seem like a problem, but it is) without being blunt and hurtful, which I don't like to do, but I'm slowly getting the hang of it. 2 down, 4 to go, but they seem to come out of the woodwork every other month.

Of course, if I were single, there'd be no one looking twice at me. That's ok.

I'm very much in love and I very much feel loved.

And I'm happy even in my SAD times. So it doesn't show as much as I'd like, but it's really amazing how all the above things seem to just be a part of life and not reasons to feel like life is difficult or hard or unfortunate.

Every day, I wake up feeling like the luckiest girl on the planet. I really do. I love my life.

My grass is the greener grass.