Diary

Yes, this is my diary. I know I'm not as unknown as I'd like to be. So I leave out names while I tell my tales - through poems, fiction, and non-fiction. There is truth and experience in everything I write.

I typically only write when I am in despair or sadness. I wish I could write when I'm happy, but then, there's nothing to write about. I write as therapy. I absolutely hate writing when I have nothing I need to therapy myself out of.

I don't know why I'm so affected by this situation. I can't even put into words what this relationship and it's potential meant to me. It was a lot of firsts. First time I dated someone in a long time without sleeping with him first. In fact, I never slept with this guy. He stayed over a few times, but it never went there. It seemed like a respect thing. First person I dated who had been married before. First person who had a kid. First person who didn't just tell me all the things I wanted to hear to get into my pants. First non-musician.

I just miss him.