Fall

I fall in love. It's kind of what I do. Obsessively and deeply and too quickly. I'm not exactly sure I know what love is. I have a pretty good idea of what love isn't though. Through my many trials - as a child watching the world around her, as a teen exploring far too often and too freely, as a wife trying to be what everyone expected, and as a person trying to move on and repeating the same mistakes over and over - I have figured out more about what love isn't and what I don't want than what love is and what I do want...

But I have this...

I want to ride a bike taxi in Savannah with you.
I want to try new things that I never thought I would.
I want to make you feel like you are worthy and loved.
I want to take you to Asheville to meet my uncle.
I want to think about trying cigars (and probably never go through with it).
I want to keep feeling like I'm worthy and loved.
I want to hold hands while walking down the street of some downtown, USA.
I want to watch you while you get excited about salt and pepper shakers.
I want to be cocooned in you.
I want to know what it feels like for someone to stand up for me.
I want to love and be loved back.
I want to argue and scream and cry and you still be there, standing steady at the end of the night.
I want to be reminded over and over again that it's ok to say what's on my mind.
I want to know that you don't care how neurotic I am, you still like me anyhow.
I want to share storytime every night.
I want to take care of you when you're sick.
I want to be taken care of when I need it.
I want to curl up in your lap when I'm sad and be petted until I feel better.
I want to watch silly movies together.
I want to believe this could work.
I want what we have now, forever.