One more step, each further than the last
Closer to the happy life shafted for him
She slakes her glasses, her hiding rims
Not full of grace; it's a rough start
Moving on, this time she sings
In the corner of the room
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Thirteen - 10thDoM Under the Kiss of the Blood-Soaked Tree
Two months past vodka, urine stained night
Lips locked in sleepless night tossed
Left awake smiling before dawn
Wretched puke in the morning light
Skip church drowned in cranberry stains
Sleepless day gone by - giggle while dying
The world spins, colors, blood poisoned
Sweet breath, grainy vision, focused, blurry
Sleep sweeps in - he calls again
Lips still drunk falling atop me
Half smile quirks against mine
Intertangled hair sweep side, ahh
It's getting quieter now, I'm not pleased
Two pages, or two paragraphs, ease
Don't talk it's ruined now
For the list of reasons not, I am
Dive in, concrete crash, no splash
Still smile crooked, eyes look bright
Each inky line or concocted connection
More high, more light, try again
Say feel be more soaked in sweat
Terrified knowledge what's to come
Spoken cannot grow unspoken leaves
The tree is fantastic, beautiful afar away
Kissed closely, seen magnetically
Lustre lost in lonely lulls
Tuesday's kiss may be our last
Lips locked in sleepless night tossed
Left awake smiling before dawn
Wretched puke in the morning light
Skip church drowned in cranberry stains
Sleepless day gone by - giggle while dying
The world spins, colors, blood poisoned
Sweet breath, grainy vision, focused, blurry
Sleep sweeps in - he calls again
Lips still drunk falling atop me
Half smile quirks against mine
Intertangled hair sweep side, ahh
It's getting quieter now, I'm not pleased
Two pages, or two paragraphs, ease
Don't talk it's ruined now
For the list of reasons not, I am
Dive in, concrete crash, no splash
Still smile crooked, eyes look bright
Each inky line or concocted connection
More high, more light, try again
Say feel be more soaked in sweat
Terrified knowledge what's to come
Spoken cannot grow unspoken leaves
The tree is fantastic, beautiful afar away
Kissed closely, seen magnetically
Lustre lost in lonely lulls
Tuesday's kiss may be our last
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Glorious Tree - 10thDoM Under the Kiss of the Blood-Soaked Tree
They sway, the boughs, and I look up into the shock of leaves tufted against the sky. She is beautiful. Her skin is smooth, alabaster, with smatterings of milk chocolate and cinnamon dots scattered across innocent places like the bridge of her nose and the tops of her shoulders. Our lips mingle between giggles and words, and with her head nestled in the crook of my arm, we speak of the life we'll have when we move from beneath this glorious tree. Lying there, love in my arms, this is the world to me.
They sway, the boughs, and I look up into the snarling branches reaching their angry stick fingers for me. Her skin is rough, alabaster covered in ruddy streaks of every shade of pink. I still think she's beautiful. With her nails digging in, drawing blood, milky white engraving cherry red stripes against dark chocolate, I'm jerked from her side, and there are screams beneath this glorious tree. Digging my heels, my feet tear against the rough roots peaking from the earth, and as I am torn from her, this is the world for me.
They sway, the boughs, and I can no longer look up or anywhere I wish, for I sway too. Her skin is splotched and dirty and broken in various places. Her dress is torn and covered in mud, her face streaked with saltwater and dirt, her eyes glassed and bloodshot, her nose red, and her lips cracked and swollen. She is the most beautiful sight I cannot see beneath this glorious tree. As the breeze moves me, rope tearing through my the skin of my chin, blood sliding down to soak my clothes, there is no breath left, this is the end of the world for me.
*****
They sway, the boughs, and I look up into the snarling branches reaching their angry stick fingers for me. Her skin is rough, alabaster covered in ruddy streaks of every shade of pink. I still think she's beautiful. With her nails digging in, drawing blood, milky white engraving cherry red stripes against dark chocolate, I'm jerked from her side, and there are screams beneath this glorious tree. Digging my heels, my feet tear against the rough roots peaking from the earth, and as I am torn from her, this is the world for me.
*****
They sway, the boughs, and I can no longer look up or anywhere I wish, for I sway too. Her skin is splotched and dirty and broken in various places. Her dress is torn and covered in mud, her face streaked with saltwater and dirt, her eyes glassed and bloodshot, her nose red, and her lips cracked and swollen. She is the most beautiful sight I cannot see beneath this glorious tree. As the breeze moves me, rope tearing through my the skin of my chin, blood sliding down to soak my clothes, there is no breath left, this is the end of the world for me.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sweet Memories - 10thDoM Confession (Part 4 of 4)
Sarah couldn't speak. Her mind was spinning and she felt dizzy as Jake's kisses became deeper and more desperate. Having him wanting her in this way, the way she had always wanted him, was like a drug coursing through her veins. She felt a buzz rivaled only by drinking too much wine, but she'd only had water tonight, but she enjoyed the taste of beer mixed with the scent of man from Jake's mouth.
She whimpered as he slipped his fingers out of her and easily unbuttoned her button-fly jeans. He'd had practice, she thought. His tongue slipped down her throat, along the bottom edge of her collar-bone, and swirled from the outside of her breast, spiraling until his mouth engulfed one nipple while his fingers found the other. Simultaneously, he gave a soft scrape of his teeth and nibbled one side of her while pinching the other gently, listening to her moan with pleasure, as he slipped her jeans and panties down her long legs, over her feet, and pushed them aside.
He wanted to taste her, but the throaty sounds coming from Sarah were nearly too much for Jake, and he was desperate to make love to her. While quickly doffing his own jeans, he let his mouth venture down her belly and slide between her legs for a quick taste. Sarah squeezed her thighs shut to try and limit his access, but he pushed her legs apart with a gentle, yet confident, strength that was new to her. She tangled her fingers into his hair to pull him up, confusing him since he knew how much she enjoyed this. Since he wanted her so badly, he gave up and let his tongue trace the inner crease of her thigh and the inside of her hip bone before planting soft kisses along her belly as he made his way up to press all his weight on top of her.
Sarah reached her left hand toward her bedside table, pulling out the top drawer and reaching in to find a condom. Jake was always diligent about protection, but he grasped her arm and pinned it over her head, and before she could protest, he slipped inside her.
"I want you."
Her eyes closed and she tilted her chin up, losing herself in the moment. Jake felt so good inside her. She hadn't been with anyone in so long, and she loved Jake, or, at least, she had loved him. She could feel the difference in the way he was being with her now and knew he meant it. He wanted her just as she had always wanted him.
Sarah's eyes were downcast as she prepared to leave the room under the guise of getting a drink of water from the kitchen and checking on guests, most of whom she knew had long-gone since the house was nearly silent by now. Jake was beautiful, naked on the bed, but she couldn't help feeling a little hardened to him.
"I need to tell you something."
"Anything, Sarah."
"I'm sorry, Jake."
"Why would you be sorry?"
"I tried to stop you."
"It's OK. You were nervous."
"No. It's not that."
"Oh, OK."
"I tried to stop you. I thought you'd be like you were before."
"I love you, Sarah."
"Not like that. Careful."
"I do love you Sarah. I'm sorry for how I treated you."
"Jake, I'm so sorry."
"OK. It's OK, Sarah."
Sarah shifted herself outside the door, and looked at Jake with a deep sadness in her eyes.
"I'm HIV Positive."
She whimpered as he slipped his fingers out of her and easily unbuttoned her button-fly jeans. He'd had practice, she thought. His tongue slipped down her throat, along the bottom edge of her collar-bone, and swirled from the outside of her breast, spiraling until his mouth engulfed one nipple while his fingers found the other. Simultaneously, he gave a soft scrape of his teeth and nibbled one side of her while pinching the other gently, listening to her moan with pleasure, as he slipped her jeans and panties down her long legs, over her feet, and pushed them aside.
He wanted to taste her, but the throaty sounds coming from Sarah were nearly too much for Jake, and he was desperate to make love to her. While quickly doffing his own jeans, he let his mouth venture down her belly and slide between her legs for a quick taste. Sarah squeezed her thighs shut to try and limit his access, but he pushed her legs apart with a gentle, yet confident, strength that was new to her. She tangled her fingers into his hair to pull him up, confusing him since he knew how much she enjoyed this. Since he wanted her so badly, he gave up and let his tongue trace the inner crease of her thigh and the inside of her hip bone before planting soft kisses along her belly as he made his way up to press all his weight on top of her.
Sarah reached her left hand toward her bedside table, pulling out the top drawer and reaching in to find a condom. Jake was always diligent about protection, but he grasped her arm and pinned it over her head, and before she could protest, he slipped inside her.
"I want you."
Her eyes closed and she tilted her chin up, losing herself in the moment. Jake felt so good inside her. She hadn't been with anyone in so long, and she loved Jake, or, at least, she had loved him. She could feel the difference in the way he was being with her now and knew he meant it. He wanted her just as she had always wanted him.
Sarah's eyes were downcast as she prepared to leave the room under the guise of getting a drink of water from the kitchen and checking on guests, most of whom she knew had long-gone since the house was nearly silent by now. Jake was beautiful, naked on the bed, but she couldn't help feeling a little hardened to him.
"I need to tell you something."
"Anything, Sarah."
"I'm sorry, Jake."
"Why would you be sorry?"
"I tried to stop you."
"It's OK. You were nervous."
"No. It's not that."
"Oh, OK."
"I tried to stop you. I thought you'd be like you were before."
"I love you, Sarah."
"Not like that. Careful."
"I do love you Sarah. I'm sorry for how I treated you."
"Jake, I'm so sorry."
"OK. It's OK, Sarah."
Sarah shifted herself outside the door, and looked at Jake with a deep sadness in her eyes.
"I'm HIV Positive."
Sweet Memories - 10thDoM Confession (Part 3 of 4)
Jake kept a firm grip on Sarah's hand as he pulled her down the hallway to the stairs. He still remembered where her bedroom was after all these years. She felt her body grow cold from the inside and began to shiver eve as her palms began to sweat. This always happened with him. Her nerves always took over, adrenaline pumping in anticipation. How she could sweat and shiver at the same time always perplexed her.
Once inside her room, the same room as their last encounter, he closed the door, maneuvered her against it, and kissed her oh-so-gently, more gently than she had ever been kissed, as he carefully pressed the lock. Her eyes closed, her guard fell, and she arched herself forward into his body, loving the warmness that engulfed her as his strong arms slipped around her, fingertips tickling her waistband. Her hands slid under his shirt, around his back and pressed firmly into his flesh. She had always loved the way Jake felt in her arms. It felt right, like it was supposed to be this way. This was why she had never said no.
There was something of a difference this time though. Jake had always been so confident, so in control, but Sarah could feel a nervousness she'd never experienced from him in his touch. He was being... Sweet? It had always been about sex and control before, and now, as his fingertips lightly brushed up her sides, taking her shirt along with them, she could feel a shift in how he felt, how he saw her. She should have stopped him then, but she could never say no to him.
On the bed, he took his time, caressing her belly and the sides of her breasts as he planted slow, moist kisses down her neck and along her collar bone. His fingers slid knowingly down the front of her jeans, gently feeling the moisture through her panties. Jake's fingers were talented and his slow, methodical penetration was driving Sarah into a frenzy. She hadn't been touched like this in years, and she had missed Jake, despite herself. It flashed through her mind once again to stop him though. There were things she wanted to say. There were things she needed to say...
Once inside her room, the same room as their last encounter, he closed the door, maneuvered her against it, and kissed her oh-so-gently, more gently than she had ever been kissed, as he carefully pressed the lock. Her eyes closed, her guard fell, and she arched herself forward into his body, loving the warmness that engulfed her as his strong arms slipped around her, fingertips tickling her waistband. Her hands slid under his shirt, around his back and pressed firmly into his flesh. She had always loved the way Jake felt in her arms. It felt right, like it was supposed to be this way. This was why she had never said no.
There was something of a difference this time though. Jake had always been so confident, so in control, but Sarah could feel a nervousness she'd never experienced from him in his touch. He was being... Sweet? It had always been about sex and control before, and now, as his fingertips lightly brushed up her sides, taking her shirt along with them, she could feel a shift in how he felt, how he saw her. She should have stopped him then, but she could never say no to him.
On the bed, he took his time, caressing her belly and the sides of her breasts as he planted slow, moist kisses down her neck and along her collar bone. His fingers slid knowingly down the front of her jeans, gently feeling the moisture through her panties. Jake's fingers were talented and his slow, methodical penetration was driving Sarah into a frenzy. She hadn't been touched like this in years, and she had missed Jake, despite herself. It flashed through her mind once again to stop him though. There were things she wanted to say. There were things she needed to say...
Sweet Memories - 10thDoM Confession (Part 2 of 4)
One last look in the mirror, and she put on her brightest smile. Sarah knew what would be lurking outside the bathroom. She threw back her shoulders, straightened her spine, took a deep breath and opened the door. Just as she had silently predicted, he was there, smiling in his special way, reserved for her. She couldn't help it if it made her feel good even if he was just using her.
"Hi," he said, "It's been awhile."
"Yeah, it has."
"I'm glad you're here."
"Oh?"
"I've been thinking something for a long time. Seeing you..."
Jake paused, shifting his weight and fidgeting in his pockets.
"I'm sorry..."
"For what?" Sarah asked.
"Let me finish."
"Fine."
"I'm sorry for how I was to you. You know... Before. In high school."
"Don't..."
"No," he said, his voice growing more stern, "I need to say this."
"OK."
Sarah's eyes dropped, and when he reached out and took her hand, she tried to pull back, but his grip was firm.
"I was wrong. I knew you loved me. I loved you. I love..."
Sarah cut him off.
"Why would you tell me this now? Why?"
"When I didn't have you, I realized I missed you. I've thought about you... Almost every day."
Their eyes met. Sarah wanted to run, but she knew Jake wouldn't let her. She'd vacillated between love and hate for him over the past couple of years and truly didn't know how she felt, but she knew she wouldn't, or was it couldn't, walk away from this even as she felt nauseated thinking about what was about to happen.
"Hi," he said, "It's been awhile."
"Yeah, it has."
"I'm glad you're here."
"Oh?"
"I've been thinking something for a long time. Seeing you..."
Jake paused, shifting his weight and fidgeting in his pockets.
"I'm sorry..."
"For what?" Sarah asked.
"Let me finish."
"Fine."
"I'm sorry for how I was to you. You know... Before. In high school."
"Don't..."
"No," he said, his voice growing more stern, "I need to say this."
"OK."
Sarah's eyes dropped, and when he reached out and took her hand, she tried to pull back, but his grip was firm.
"I was wrong. I knew you loved me. I loved you. I love..."
Sarah cut him off.
"Why would you tell me this now? Why?"
"When I didn't have you, I realized I missed you. I've thought about you... Almost every day."
Their eyes met. Sarah wanted to run, but she knew Jake wouldn't let her. She'd vacillated between love and hate for him over the past couple of years and truly didn't know how she felt, but she knew she wouldn't, or was it couldn't, walk away from this even as she felt nauseated thinking about what was about to happen.
Sweet Memories - 10thDoM Confession (Part I of 4)
Across the room, he stared at her with a glint in his eyes she hadn't seen in years. Feeling her cheeks flush, she smiled sheepishly back and tilted her chin down, cutting her eyes back at him briefly before turning back to the mundane ramblings of her friends. She'd been trying to get him to smile at her with want since her freshman year of high school. It had been rare occasion that he had, but it had been awhile now. Two years of college had changed her, and she wondered if he realized she was the same girl...
After another half-hour or so of her girlfriends' ramblings, getting louder and more vivid with every drink, about their drunken college debauchery and how many men they'd fucked without even caring to learn their names, Sarah excused herself to the kitchen. Hearing them speak about their escapades was difficult sometimes, but she didn't judge. The last time Sarah had partaken in such carelessness had been her first, and it had been turned into a nightmare. That was her first semester in college, and while she didn't quit going out with her friends, she'd dropped her pledge class and cut way back on her drinking so as not to make the same mistake again. She felt lucky to have friends who loved her anyhow...
Shifting and sliding her way carefully toward the kitchen, avoiding the throngs of intoxicated, groping men, and touchy-feely females, proved to be a task and her calves ached a little from lifting her 4 inch high heels off the ground to balance on her toes for the full journey. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the bathroom, noticed no line and the door clicked open just as she found enough of a clearing to let her heels down. She needed a moment to herself.
After locking the door carefully behind her, she pressed her back to it. She had felt his eyes following her the whole way and hoped she looked graceful as she wove through the crowd. In high school, he would only acknowledge her in private. He had played on her emotions, knowing she would never say no to him, knowing the power he held over her, and she hated herself for it. Of course he realized it was her, and he had given her the smile she knew so well.
After another half-hour or so of her girlfriends' ramblings, getting louder and more vivid with every drink, about their drunken college debauchery and how many men they'd fucked without even caring to learn their names, Sarah excused herself to the kitchen. Hearing them speak about their escapades was difficult sometimes, but she didn't judge. The last time Sarah had partaken in such carelessness had been her first, and it had been turned into a nightmare. That was her first semester in college, and while she didn't quit going out with her friends, she'd dropped her pledge class and cut way back on her drinking so as not to make the same mistake again. She felt lucky to have friends who loved her anyhow...
Shifting and sliding her way carefully toward the kitchen, avoiding the throngs of intoxicated, groping men, and touchy-feely females, proved to be a task and her calves ached a little from lifting her 4 inch high heels off the ground to balance on her toes for the full journey. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the bathroom, noticed no line and the door clicked open just as she found enough of a clearing to let her heels down. She needed a moment to herself.
After locking the door carefully behind her, she pressed her back to it. She had felt his eyes following her the whole way and hoped she looked graceful as she wove through the crowd. In high school, he would only acknowledge her in private. He had played on her emotions, knowing she would never say no to him, knowing the power he held over her, and she hated herself for it. Of course he realized it was her, and he had given her the smile she knew so well.
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