Sarah couldn't speak. Her mind was spinning and she felt dizzy as Jake's kisses became deeper and more desperate. Having him wanting her in this way, the way she had always wanted him, was like a drug coursing through her veins. She felt a buzz rivaled only by drinking too much wine, but she'd only had water tonight, but she enjoyed the taste of beer mixed with the scent of man from Jake's mouth.
She whimpered as he slipped his fingers out of her and easily unbuttoned her button-fly jeans. He'd had practice, she thought. His tongue slipped down her throat, along the bottom edge of her collar-bone, and swirled from the outside of her breast, spiraling until his mouth engulfed one nipple while his fingers found the other. Simultaneously, he gave a soft scrape of his teeth and nibbled one side of her while pinching the other gently, listening to her moan with pleasure, as he slipped her jeans and panties down her long legs, over her feet, and pushed them aside.
He wanted to taste her, but the throaty sounds coming from Sarah were nearly too much for Jake, and he was desperate to make love to her. While quickly doffing his own jeans, he let his mouth venture down her belly and slide between her legs for a quick taste. Sarah squeezed her thighs shut to try and limit his access, but he pushed her legs apart with a gentle, yet confident, strength that was new to her. She tangled her fingers into his hair to pull him up, confusing him since he knew how much she enjoyed this. Since he wanted her so badly, he gave up and let his tongue trace the inner crease of her thigh and the inside of her hip bone before planting soft kisses along her belly as he made his way up to press all his weight on top of her.
Sarah reached her left hand toward her bedside table, pulling out the top drawer and reaching in to find a condom. Jake was always diligent about protection, but he grasped her arm and pinned it over her head, and before she could protest, he slipped inside her.
"I want you."
Her eyes closed and she tilted her chin up, losing herself in the moment. Jake felt so good inside her. She hadn't been with anyone in so long, and she loved Jake, or, at least, she had loved him. She could feel the difference in the way he was being with her now and knew he meant it. He wanted her just as she had always wanted him.
Sarah's eyes were downcast as she prepared to leave the room under the guise of getting a drink of water from the kitchen and checking on guests, most of whom she knew had long-gone since the house was nearly silent by now. Jake was beautiful, naked on the bed, but she couldn't help feeling a little hardened to him.
"I need to tell you something."
"Anything, Sarah."
"I'm sorry, Jake."
"Why would you be sorry?"
"I tried to stop you."
"It's OK. You were nervous."
"No. It's not that."
"Oh, OK."
"I tried to stop you. I thought you'd be like you were before."
"I love you, Sarah."
"Not like that. Careful."
"I do love you Sarah. I'm sorry for how I treated you."
"Jake, I'm so sorry."
"OK. It's OK, Sarah."
Sarah shifted herself outside the door, and looked at Jake with a deep sadness in her eyes.
"I'm HIV Positive."
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sweet Memories - 10thDoM Confession (Part 3 of 4)
Jake kept a firm grip on Sarah's hand as he pulled her down the hallway to the stairs. He still remembered where her bedroom was after all these years. She felt her body grow cold from the inside and began to shiver eve as her palms began to sweat. This always happened with him. Her nerves always took over, adrenaline pumping in anticipation. How she could sweat and shiver at the same time always perplexed her.
Once inside her room, the same room as their last encounter, he closed the door, maneuvered her against it, and kissed her oh-so-gently, more gently than she had ever been kissed, as he carefully pressed the lock. Her eyes closed, her guard fell, and she arched herself forward into his body, loving the warmness that engulfed her as his strong arms slipped around her, fingertips tickling her waistband. Her hands slid under his shirt, around his back and pressed firmly into his flesh. She had always loved the way Jake felt in her arms. It felt right, like it was supposed to be this way. This was why she had never said no.
There was something of a difference this time though. Jake had always been so confident, so in control, but Sarah could feel a nervousness she'd never experienced from him in his touch. He was being... Sweet? It had always been about sex and control before, and now, as his fingertips lightly brushed up her sides, taking her shirt along with them, she could feel a shift in how he felt, how he saw her. She should have stopped him then, but she could never say no to him.
On the bed, he took his time, caressing her belly and the sides of her breasts as he planted slow, moist kisses down her neck and along her collar bone. His fingers slid knowingly down the front of her jeans, gently feeling the moisture through her panties. Jake's fingers were talented and his slow, methodical penetration was driving Sarah into a frenzy. She hadn't been touched like this in years, and she had missed Jake, despite herself. It flashed through her mind once again to stop him though. There were things she wanted to say. There were things she needed to say...
Once inside her room, the same room as their last encounter, he closed the door, maneuvered her against it, and kissed her oh-so-gently, more gently than she had ever been kissed, as he carefully pressed the lock. Her eyes closed, her guard fell, and she arched herself forward into his body, loving the warmness that engulfed her as his strong arms slipped around her, fingertips tickling her waistband. Her hands slid under his shirt, around his back and pressed firmly into his flesh. She had always loved the way Jake felt in her arms. It felt right, like it was supposed to be this way. This was why she had never said no.
There was something of a difference this time though. Jake had always been so confident, so in control, but Sarah could feel a nervousness she'd never experienced from him in his touch. He was being... Sweet? It had always been about sex and control before, and now, as his fingertips lightly brushed up her sides, taking her shirt along with them, she could feel a shift in how he felt, how he saw her. She should have stopped him then, but she could never say no to him.
On the bed, he took his time, caressing her belly and the sides of her breasts as he planted slow, moist kisses down her neck and along her collar bone. His fingers slid knowingly down the front of her jeans, gently feeling the moisture through her panties. Jake's fingers were talented and his slow, methodical penetration was driving Sarah into a frenzy. She hadn't been touched like this in years, and she had missed Jake, despite herself. It flashed through her mind once again to stop him though. There were things she wanted to say. There were things she needed to say...
Sweet Memories - 10thDoM Confession (Part 2 of 4)
One last look in the mirror, and she put on her brightest smile. Sarah knew what would be lurking outside the bathroom. She threw back her shoulders, straightened her spine, took a deep breath and opened the door. Just as she had silently predicted, he was there, smiling in his special way, reserved for her. She couldn't help it if it made her feel good even if he was just using her.
"Hi," he said, "It's been awhile."
"Yeah, it has."
"I'm glad you're here."
"Oh?"
"I've been thinking something for a long time. Seeing you..."
Jake paused, shifting his weight and fidgeting in his pockets.
"I'm sorry..."
"For what?" Sarah asked.
"Let me finish."
"Fine."
"I'm sorry for how I was to you. You know... Before. In high school."
"Don't..."
"No," he said, his voice growing more stern, "I need to say this."
"OK."
Sarah's eyes dropped, and when he reached out and took her hand, she tried to pull back, but his grip was firm.
"I was wrong. I knew you loved me. I loved you. I love..."
Sarah cut him off.
"Why would you tell me this now? Why?"
"When I didn't have you, I realized I missed you. I've thought about you... Almost every day."
Their eyes met. Sarah wanted to run, but she knew Jake wouldn't let her. She'd vacillated between love and hate for him over the past couple of years and truly didn't know how she felt, but she knew she wouldn't, or was it couldn't, walk away from this even as she felt nauseated thinking about what was about to happen.
"Hi," he said, "It's been awhile."
"Yeah, it has."
"I'm glad you're here."
"Oh?"
"I've been thinking something for a long time. Seeing you..."
Jake paused, shifting his weight and fidgeting in his pockets.
"I'm sorry..."
"For what?" Sarah asked.
"Let me finish."
"Fine."
"I'm sorry for how I was to you. You know... Before. In high school."
"Don't..."
"No," he said, his voice growing more stern, "I need to say this."
"OK."
Sarah's eyes dropped, and when he reached out and took her hand, she tried to pull back, but his grip was firm.
"I was wrong. I knew you loved me. I loved you. I love..."
Sarah cut him off.
"Why would you tell me this now? Why?"
"When I didn't have you, I realized I missed you. I've thought about you... Almost every day."
Their eyes met. Sarah wanted to run, but she knew Jake wouldn't let her. She'd vacillated between love and hate for him over the past couple of years and truly didn't know how she felt, but she knew she wouldn't, or was it couldn't, walk away from this even as she felt nauseated thinking about what was about to happen.
Sweet Memories - 10thDoM Confession (Part I of 4)
Across the room, he stared at her with a glint in his eyes she hadn't seen in years. Feeling her cheeks flush, she smiled sheepishly back and tilted her chin down, cutting her eyes back at him briefly before turning back to the mundane ramblings of her friends. She'd been trying to get him to smile at her with want since her freshman year of high school. It had been rare occasion that he had, but it had been awhile now. Two years of college had changed her, and she wondered if he realized she was the same girl...
After another half-hour or so of her girlfriends' ramblings, getting louder and more vivid with every drink, about their drunken college debauchery and how many men they'd fucked without even caring to learn their names, Sarah excused herself to the kitchen. Hearing them speak about their escapades was difficult sometimes, but she didn't judge. The last time Sarah had partaken in such carelessness had been her first, and it had been turned into a nightmare. That was her first semester in college, and while she didn't quit going out with her friends, she'd dropped her pledge class and cut way back on her drinking so as not to make the same mistake again. She felt lucky to have friends who loved her anyhow...
Shifting and sliding her way carefully toward the kitchen, avoiding the throngs of intoxicated, groping men, and touchy-feely females, proved to be a task and her calves ached a little from lifting her 4 inch high heels off the ground to balance on her toes for the full journey. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the bathroom, noticed no line and the door clicked open just as she found enough of a clearing to let her heels down. She needed a moment to herself.
After locking the door carefully behind her, she pressed her back to it. She had felt his eyes following her the whole way and hoped she looked graceful as she wove through the crowd. In high school, he would only acknowledge her in private. He had played on her emotions, knowing she would never say no to him, knowing the power he held over her, and she hated herself for it. Of course he realized it was her, and he had given her the smile she knew so well.
After another half-hour or so of her girlfriends' ramblings, getting louder and more vivid with every drink, about their drunken college debauchery and how many men they'd fucked without even caring to learn their names, Sarah excused herself to the kitchen. Hearing them speak about their escapades was difficult sometimes, but she didn't judge. The last time Sarah had partaken in such carelessness had been her first, and it had been turned into a nightmare. That was her first semester in college, and while she didn't quit going out with her friends, she'd dropped her pledge class and cut way back on her drinking so as not to make the same mistake again. She felt lucky to have friends who loved her anyhow...
Shifting and sliding her way carefully toward the kitchen, avoiding the throngs of intoxicated, groping men, and touchy-feely females, proved to be a task and her calves ached a little from lifting her 4 inch high heels off the ground to balance on her toes for the full journey. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the bathroom, noticed no line and the door clicked open just as she found enough of a clearing to let her heels down. She needed a moment to herself.
After locking the door carefully behind her, she pressed her back to it. She had felt his eyes following her the whole way and hoped she looked graceful as she wove through the crowd. In high school, he would only acknowledge her in private. He had played on her emotions, knowing she would never say no to him, knowing the power he held over her, and she hated herself for it. Of course he realized it was her, and he had given her the smile she knew so well.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Mouth - 10thDom Softly-Spoken Bullets, Hardly-Spoken Lips
Words spoken across the room
Across the lawn
Slip effortlessly through the air
Their aim clear
Still amiss just yet
One round after another
Ricocheted off his empty eyes
There's nothing inside to hit
She sees that
And fires away anyhow
A stray word finds her mark
In a flash of comprehension
His eyes brighten
Then empty again
She hit him
She takes a moment, dials it in
These new words hit harder
They're sharper
Darting more accurately
Into him
It's a futile moment in time
She knows it won't last
He'll leave the room
Leave the scene
And forget
But right now, she powers through
Shot after shot, harder, deeper
Until she sees his lips part
His eyes well, spill
And she softens, til next time
Across the lawn
Slip effortlessly through the air
Their aim clear
Still amiss just yet
One round after another
Ricocheted off his empty eyes
There's nothing inside to hit
She sees that
And fires away anyhow
A stray word finds her mark
In a flash of comprehension
His eyes brighten
Then empty again
She hit him
She takes a moment, dials it in
These new words hit harder
They're sharper
Darting more accurately
Into him
It's a futile moment in time
She knows it won't last
He'll leave the room
Leave the scene
And forget
But right now, she powers through
Shot after shot, harder, deeper
Until she sees his lips part
His eyes well, spill
And she softens, til next time
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